Better

Poor Sammy's been having some serious problems with her feet.  I usually don't get into the pity-party mode, but a couple weeks ago I was so frustrated and just thought... "Most kids don't have to deal with this.  Most MOMS don't have to worry about this."  And I was just upset and sad and frustrated and annoyed.  

The story is long, too long, to write.  But a lot of factors played into why Sammy's right foot has gotten so bad.  Some of those factors are bad decisions made by professionals.  Whatever.  Moving on.  Below is a picture of her right foot.  She had worn her night cast -- she wears casts at night to stretch her achilles tendon as she sleeps -- and this is several hours after her cast has been off.  Look at that redness.  This picture was taken last week and it's now beginning to fade after not wearing casts or braces as she should.  

So.  Frustration. Anger. Annoyance. Sadness.  Back to that.

During the Christmas break, I took time to really work on Sammy's legs and feet.  She would be home all day and I just knew I could "fix" it, or improve her foot at least.  I began to massage her feet and legs 2x a day.  Whenever she was standing and playing, I'd come up to her and put downward pressure through her hips and legs.  I used essential oils as I massaged her.  She took many more warm baths than she normally does, so we could loosen her up.  And all those feelings I had had melted away.  They were replaced by love and gratitude.  I was helping her.  And that time we spent together was happy time.  It wasn't always easy, but I knew I was helping her and there was an exchange of mother/daughter love during those times of service.

I love being Samantha's mom.  She adds so much light to my life.  I'm constantly reminded that those harder times are important because they bring added joy to my every day.  And, every day, she makes me a better person.  It never fails that I only recognize this AFTER the problem, but that's ok.  I'm still trying to be better.  And she's helping me.