Put Your Head on My Shoulder

Dear Samantha,

You make me melt.  You do the smallest, simplest thing, and I'm in tears because I feel my heart overflow with joy. 

You have a cold.  And colds are hard because you can't blow your nose.  You can't clear things out yourself.  You just kind of suffer through it, all stuffed up.  I mean, you've suffered through worse, but I think we all agree that colds are annoying.  Today Jacqueline came from the newspaper and took some pictures of you for the upcoming article.  You weren't particularly happy, but you weren't sad.  Oh how I wanted you to shine so everyone who saw you in the paper would feel your spirit through those eyes of yours.  But, you're a little foggy with this cold and...that's ok.  You were perfectly chipper 2 hours after Jacqueline left.  I wished she could have been there then.  The rest of the day you were perfectly pleasant.

Usually you go to bed quite well, but tonight, about 45 minutes after you were in bed, I heard you singing.  Well, you aren't really singing, but that's what we call it.  Grammy calls them whale calls.  I went in, you smiled so big when you saw me.  We went through the routine of the saline nasal drops and Eucerin around the face (you get so chapped when you have colds), and you just smiled at me and locked eyes with mine like I was the most magical, fantastic, perfect being in the world.  And you know what?  I felt like I was.  You made me feel like I was pretty wonderful.

I turned off the lights, and you put your head on my shoulder.  That's when the tears filled my eyes and gently flowed over onto my cheeks.  You have never put your head on my shoulder before, and it was...so simple, but so beautiful.  You normally just curl up into a tight ball against my chest, but this time, it was a perfect way to end my evening.  You fell asleep almost instantly and after a few moments I laid you down.

I'm not sure what it was about you laying your head on my shoulder.  Partly, it was so normal...and not many things about your life are considered "normal."  But, I think it has a lot to do with the love you shared with me only moments before -- that look of adoration -- and then to just lay your head on my shoulder...that absolute trust, maybe.  Again, I'm not sure why that moment was so dear to me, but it was. 

And it's a moment I hope to never forget.

Sponsors

In preparation for the upcoming Sweatin' for Sammy 5K we have been soliciting local businesses to sponsor the event.  We were hoping for just a few, but so many have been willing and excited to be a part of this event to help Samantha.  Sure, some haven't been able to take on sponsorship since we do not have 501(3)c status, but I've been overwhelmed with the business support.  So, a sincere thank you to the following:

R. Martin Judd D.D.S

Saputo Cheese (sponsorship, plus donation of string cheese for the event)

The Pool Guys 

Jim Pojda -- Alain Pinel Realtor

Unishippers

Easytesters

And we may have more coming!  This is incredible.  Thank you sponsors, for being fantastic!!!



We're In...Now WE Can

Deciding to take Samantha to Now I Can in Utah came up pretty fast.  The following months have been intense and fabulous!  I've said this before, but the love that we have felt from our friends, family, and perfect strangers has been overwhelming.  In an attempt to not sound so dramatic -- I just feel like we are witnessing something great.  I feel like our family, Samantha specifically, is a part of something greater than this therapy.  Yes, I believe that this therapy is going to be fantastic.  I expect to see miracles, like, ohhhh using a spoon to feed herself, walking up stairs.  I don't know what it'll be, but I believe there will be real physical miracles that come from this therapy. 

Today, however, as I met with friends to coordinate Sweatin' for Sammy - 5K, I realized I was witnessing another kind of miracle...the kind that brings friends, families, strangers, and entire communities together.  The kind of miracle that knits people's hearts together. 

Though both kinds of miracles can be life changing, today as I sat with these selfless woman, I thought to myself that if THIS is the only miracle that comes from all of this, it may just be worth it.  But, just have it be known...I'm expecting some of those other physical things to come along too.  Am I pushing my miracle limit?  I sure hope not.

And, finally.  YES.  The purpose of this post.  Drum roll please:

After our Chevy's fundraiser, we had enough money to pay the downpayment of $700 and secure Samantha's therapy session.  She is scheduled for September 19 - October 7.  We are so ExCiTeD!!!  Wahoo!

My Girl

I'm grateful for days at the park, for days when we're together as a family, for days when you are smiley and happy.  I love those days.  And I love you.  You'll always be my little girl. 

It's Been Awhile...

Hey there little Sammy,

It's been awhile since I've posted on your blog.  This is why...

We've been working like crazy lately.  We recently decided that for sure we were taking you to Now I Can.  Once the word got out, we got fundraisers like crazy going on.  We did a restaurant fundraiser at Chevy's.  It was a hit.  Diane Black started researching, and then creating, a 5K for you scheduled for May 21 (the day after my birthday).  I can't think of anything I'd rather do to celebrate my birthday than run for you.  Sweatin' for Sammy.  I like the ring of it.  I came up with it after Daddy said he wanted something fun and with alliteration.  That was the first thing that came to my mind -- after Sauntering for Sammy, but I wasn't really serious about that one.  Don't worry.

Scott Emert -- you don't know him but Uncle Ted played soccer with him for years and so, I know him too, is putting a fundraiser together for you while we're in Michigan this June.  He, Jason Emerine, Scott Wickham (who I had a crush on back in the day -- and now he's doing this for me...strange really) and some other guys are putting a silent auction together.  It's pretty incredible.  Their new goal is to earn enough money to get you to Now I Can TWO times. 

I've been overwhelmed with the ourpouring of love. 

On Thursday, when I dropped you off at Scribbles and Giggles, Ann (manager) said, "She must bring you all so much joy.  Look at her."  And you know what?  You do.  You bring us so much joy.  And what I have discovered is that what I thought I knew -- that you bring joy to others around you -- is actually true.  People want to do so much for you because you do so much for them, in your little way.  You are great, Samantha.  And sometimes I stand in awe that you are mine.

I love you.
Mommy