Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I Miss You Already

Sweet Sweet Samantha,

My heart is aching right now, just really really aching. There's a little friend of yours, who we never met, but also had a diagnosis of microcephaly. His name was Ben. Do you remember me telling you about him? Well, he just died a couple days ago and I just found out. We don't know the details, but I think it was pretty fast and unexpected.

Sammy, do you know what I want to do right now? I want to run into your room, risk waking you up, just so I can hold you all night long. I can't imagine my life without you, and it kills me knowing that some day I may have to face this same scenario. Ben was only 8 years old. You will be 4 in a few weeks. Little girl, you're getting old! But still, you haven't been with me long enough. Four more years won't be enough. Ten more years won't be enough. I love you so much, you know that? Please, stay with me for as long as you can, ok? Because just thinking of you gone makes me miss you already.

So, as I sit here crying, hurting for this family and then, of course, thinking of you...I am so grateful to know that not only do you have a great daddy here, but we have a Father in Heaven too...and He loves us...and I don't say this lightly when I tell you that everything will be ok, no matter what. Oh, I'll have to remind myself of this a lot, but it's the truth.

I love you sweet girl. I won't wake you up...just peek in your room.
Sweet Dreams.

1 comment:

  1. i JUST found your blog dedicated to Sammy. Why didn't I know about it before? I love it. I love the way you write to her. I was perusing past posts and came upon this one. And then I cried. Thanks for aching with me. Thanks for knowing how painful it must be to lose your child. It's hard. So very hard. I hope that you won't have to experience it for a long, long time - maybe never? I still cry lots of times everyday because I miss him so much. Hug sweet Sammy for me. xo



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