Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Car Accident

Oh Little Sammy,

Monday was a horrible day. While driving to your occupational therapy appointment, someone pulled out of a side street right in front of me. I couldn't stop in time. I tried. Believe me, I tried pushing my foot down on the brakes as hard as I could, but he drove out right in front of me. I couldn't stop. I slammed into his car and you let out a terrifying scream. I have never been in a car accident before, so this was a scary experience for me. But knowing you were in the car with me set me in a deeper panic just before we hit. After our cars crashed together, I found my phone, ready to call 911...but then saw that others were already on the phone. Then I got out of the car as fast as I could to get to you. You were crying. I tried to assess the situation...were you ok? Was it ok for me to pick you up without causing more damage? I could see that you were moving around just fine, so I quickly got you out of your carseat, and you immediately stopped crying.

This car accident was emotional for me on many levels. It's been a couple days since the accident and I have gone through a lot of different emotions. I've felt a lot of frustration. The car is completely totaled and we'll need a new one. I'm in a lot of pain, and that's just plain inconvienent. But what shakes me up every time is knowing that you were in the car. Sitting behind me, you were involved in a car accident, and I was driving. I know it wasn't my fault. I know there is nothing I could have done to avoid it. But it still makes me cry thinking about how I could have lost you like that. I'm so grateful that, even though our car is gone, that it protected us. I'm so grateful that the accident happened where it did -- where the speed limit was only 35 miles per hour. And I'm so so grateful for your car seat, that it held you secure.

I love you so much.

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