Thursday, September 30, 2010

I Know

Samantha,

There are some days when I am so sad that you can't just tell me what you want, need, or think. It's not so much because there's this inner-aching within me to hear your voice...though that is there definitely, but because I simply want to know. I want to know what you're thinking. I want to hear everything you have to say. And yes, I'd love to hear your tiny voice tell me the things all moms want to hear...that you love me. I melt every time Callie tells me, so I'm pretty sure you, Sammy, saying it would have equal effect. Today you spontaneously kissed me for the first time in a VERY long time -- though you freely give kisses to Colin! -- and it made my day by the way.

My friend sent me the Meaghan Smith cd. There's no secret, I'm totally loving this girl. I love her style, her awesome voice, and you and Callie love dancing to "Heartbroken"...but when I got to the song "I Know" I immediately thought of you and all of my favorite scenes from your life passed through my mind. I know this is a love song, but I'm so in love with you -- my tiny little girl. And whether you can vocalize it or not, I'm pretty sure that I know you love me too. And I'm pretty sure, one day you'll tell me in words. And I'm also pretty sure that every time I hear this song, for the rest of my life, I'll be thinking of you.

I love you!
Mommy


video



It's in our hello
In the way your smile glows
And it's in our good bye
In the tear in your eye
And all in between
When you're lookin at me

I know, I know, I know
What you don't say

It shimmers through
In the things you do
When you write me a note
And send it by the post
What you might not sign
On that bottom line

I know, I know, I know
What you don't say

Words are not needed
And though my ears
Could be misled
My heart can hear instead
What goes unsaid

You'll leave me with this
A hug and a kiss
And that little phrase
Those three words
You can't say
But please don't feel blue
Cause I always knew

And I know, I know, I know
And I love you too

4 comments:

  1. i love her music! i think i may just add that cd to my birthday wish. love it.

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  2. I am sobbing big giant tears.... of sadness, empathy, joy.... after reading the post you had saved on kidz I was just a blubbering mess. It was like the silent prayer in my heart was answered. I so needed this today and I thank you, my friend. xoxo

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  3. I thought I'd come by and check out your blog from KIDZ, and I'm glad I did!
    My daughter also has Microcephaly. She doesn't have a diagnosis for exactly what she has either, and we've been working with genetics for almost 2 years! (Since she was 10 weeks old)
    Anyhow, I'm so glad to "meet" you. If you're interested in Hanna's story, you can find it on my blog.
    http://jennohara-theblindspot.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. I came a crossed Samantha's story on the KIDZ blog...she is such a beautiful and amazing little girl. Thank you for sharing her story.

    ReplyDelete

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